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The famous downsizer bag, for £3.50 or less!
Note the buy price is given at £5, but that includes P&P and if you buy two for £10, we will add a free bag.
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Stacey
Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 6034
Location: Kernow
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 Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 7:30 pm Post subject: How do you find out what you're good at? |
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Is it an absolute knowldege or do people take leaps of faith? What do you do if you aren't good enough at anything to make a living? Is it possible in our society to be content if you aren't particularly good at anything? We seem to be judged on what we do and what we look like, so is there a personality type that means you can be content just existing? Do we all need positive feedback of some kind?
Sorry - no-one expects the spanish inquisition  |
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ele
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 814
Location: Derby
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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ooh now there's something to think about 
I just don't know really, but I reckon for the next six months or so I will just be existing and not doing or being anything I can label, perhaps I should report back any further thoughts in June? |
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Lozzie
Joined: 25 May 2005
Posts: 2596
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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Wow - some excellent questions there, Stacey.
I think most people are to an extent shaped by what other people tell them and think of them - example, when I was at school, I was always told I should be a journalist or a lawyer.
But I took what in retrosepct was a leap of faith and went to drama school instead of university, to train as a stage manager
I am a firm believer that everyone is good at SOMETHING, but it may well take several attempts to find out what exactly that is. It did me, that's for sure!
Many people appear to find contentment in inactivity  , but I reckon they are going against the basic human grain.
Human beings, if not faced with some kind of challenge stagnate and become clinically depressed. Or at the very least fall asleep for a decade or so.
Some people can DEVELOP their personalities to the point where they are content with simple existence (I am thinking of religious or moral ascetics, here) but I think you'd find that even they admit that it is a difficult thing to acheive ... It took the Buddha many years and a great deal of pain and suffering before he acheived nirvanah, for example.
Do we all need positive feedback of some kind? Absolutely!
(Excellent thread Stacey; top marks ) |
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sally_in_wales
Joined: 06 Mar 2005
Posts: 10943
Location: sunny wales
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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Gosh, good question. I've always been the sort of person who tends to try things just to see if I can do them, and I'm constantly amazed at how many things I can indeed do perfectly well. (Some things I cant, music for example, tone deaf and only worth listening to if you are already drunk!). I am therefore a great believer in the phrase 'I can't do that -YET', and firmly believe that the addition of 'yet' to that sentance makes all the difference.
In terms of making a living out of not much more than your own hard work, it is a leap of faith, but people have managed it for millennia, and there is no reason why being surrounded by a consumer society removes our basic ability to turn our hands toteh most amazing amount of tasks. Many of then you really don't have to be expert at, just competent, and competence in one skill is improved by experience of others, so the more things you try your hand at the better you get at all the things you havent yet tried.
And yes, I'm drinking! |
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Penny
Joined: 18 Sep 2005
Posts: 14886
Location: In the daft wench corner with Hedgewitch
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 7:57 pm Post subject: Re: How do you find out what you're good at? |
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| stacey_guthrie wrote: |
| We seem to be judged on what we do and what we look like:D |
That's so true - my OH and I never ever ever "dress up" (well not for work anyway ). We don't own "posh" clothes. When people meet us for business purposes, bank, accountants, suppliers etc, they always seem a bit taken aback by our very casual mode of dress. It does P me off sometimes. |
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Rob R
Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 11595
Location: York
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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I just try everything I like the idea of & work out what produces good results and, more importantly, what I am happy doing. It's always nice to get positive (or if at least constructive) feedback though. The things I can't at least make a reasonable job of/do a good job but takes way too much time/don't even want to try, I leave to the experts  |
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Rob R
Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 11595
Location: York
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 8:02 pm Post subject: Re: How do you find out what you're good at? |
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| stacey_guthrie wrote: |
| We seem to be judged on what we do and what we look like:D |
True. Thank God most of the 'punters' don't see me |
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jema
Forum Dog
Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 20090
Location: Still in Swindon
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 8:02 pm Post subject: |
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If it's worth doing it's worth doing badly 
Why should we be put in boxes where we can only do what we are good at? |
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gil
Joined: 08 Jun 2005
Posts: 9353
Location: Scotland
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 8:06 pm Post subject: Re: How do you find out what you're good at? |
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That's an interesting (and huge) set of questions for a Friday night !
And there's a number of different ways of looking at it, that you hint at in your post : being good at something, making a living from s/thing, being a decent human being, recognition from other people that you're good at something, knowing yourself that you do something well.
These all set up possible avenues for exploration and answering some of the questions you raise.
We find out what we're good at by trying, through experience.
The obvious place we start finding out is at school : the subjects we enjoy, or get good marks for, or go on to pursue later; also whether we get on with other children, make friends, and other social / interaction skills.
The same could be said for hobbies (childhood and adult), interests and activities that aren't part of the school curriculum, or don't get assessed.
Whether you can make a living from what you're good at is another matter : it depends more on whether there is a market for your talent : can you turn it into a product or service, or can you create or harness a market. Brilliant athletes don't make that much from winning races : they get sponsorship. And they become commentators or coaches after their active career ends, using other knowledge they've gained.
But then we also all have more generalisable things we're good at; transferable skills, if you like, that are portable from one context to another : being organised, patient, enthusiastic, a good listener, communicating, etc. I think sometimes it can be quite difficult to recognise these in ourselves, as we often take them for granted.
It's always good to get useful feedback about one's performance, though less positive stuff can be hard to take if it strikes at the heart of who and what we think we are.
I'm in the middle of trying to decide what to do next, so you're not alone in wondering about these issues. |
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sally_in_wales
Joined: 06 Mar 2005
Posts: 10943
Location: sunny wales
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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| jema wrote: |
If it's worth doing it's worth doing badly
Why should we be put in boxes where we can only do what we are good at? |
Lovely! Thats actually such a good point. Its really really important to enjoy trying things, even if they are a disater. What you learn in the process does help in later projects.
However, I admit to being a personality that craves approval. I want people to tell me I'm worthwhile and have done something right, and that pushes me to do more and more things so I widen the chances of someone noticing, but balance must be maintained, and enjoying making a total pigs ear out of something is a good and noble cause. |
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gil
Joined: 08 Jun 2005
Posts: 9353
Location: Scotland
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 8:11 pm Post subject: |
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| sally_in_wales wrote: |
| jema wrote: |
If it's worth doing it's worth doing badly
Why should we be put in boxes where we can only do what we are good at? |
Lovely! Thats actually such a good point. Its really really important to enjoy trying things, even if they are a disater. ...
balance must be maintained, and enjoying making a total pigs ear out of something is a good and noble cause. |
We all need to be able to do more of that. Hear, hear. |
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Lozzie
Joined: 25 May 2005
Posts: 2596
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 8:18 pm Post subject: |
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"He who makes no mistakes ... does not normally make anything at all!"
Poster on my music teacher's wall. |
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ele
Joined: 05 Sep 2005
Posts: 814
Location: Derby
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 8:35 pm Post subject: |
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may I ask Stacey what made you ask in the first place, is it your own direction or someone else's you're trying to figure out or it just a Friday night philosophising thing? |
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Stacey
Joined: 18 Jul 2005
Posts: 6034
Location: Kernow
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 8:35 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| And yes, I'm drinking! |
me too, sally - first time in months
Another question for a friday night. What if, 'on paper' someone is allegedly good at a host of things but no- one wants what they do? Where does contentment come form then?
I've bought a new buddha statue - blame him |
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Gervase
Joined: 17 Nov 2004
Posts: 4272
Location: Ceredigion, West Wales
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| Posted: Fri Dec 09, 05 8:39 pm Post subject: |
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I'm a great believer in the maxim 'Anyone can do anything'. Not necessarily well, but certainly to a level of competence that will surprise oneself.
Thus, if you want to know if you'll be any good at something, just try it! It might not apply in some fields (like surgery or free-fall parachuting ), but in most of life's challenges it works.
What holds us back is our own inhibitions and lack of self-confidence, and that's often stuffed into our heads in childhood by poor teachers and bad mentors. I do believe that nearly everyone has the necessary skills to be good at things - but what sets the 'doers' apart from those who don't believe they can is simpy self-belief.
Sally's right in that we all crave approval, but with most things it's possible to 'have a go' in private before seeking the approbation of others.
I have to confess that I was crapping myself when we agreed to have the TV cameras follow the house restoration, but at the same time there was a smug, nagging voice in my inner ear saying: "This'll show the buggers", and I was quite chuffed to be bollocked by one restoration expert for doing a job too well! |
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