marigold
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Dear cat... an apologyDear cat,
Sorry sorry sorry. It never occurred to me when I stuck a piece of paper in the shredder which just happens to be next to your chair, that the noise would make you jump out of your skin  . Please don't sit there with that hurt look on your face, I didn't do it on purpose, honest  .
With humblest grovels,
The House Human.
xxxx
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Nanny
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dear dunlop
i utterly refuse to apologise to you for throwing you out of the bedroom this afternoon
if you insist on chucking your cat munchies all over the bed, you must expect me to be a tad upset.....
don't even try to look at me with that "it wasn't me" look on your face, i saw you do it
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Pel
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Dear Hitler,
Thank you for keeping my legs warm last night it was much appreciated, however i would prefer if you stayed above the covers, as waking up with half a fluffy boob tube is a little strange (the previous night). 
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LynneA
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Dear Sheba, When I asked if you were going to sleep on the office chair tonight, I didn't expect you to nab your spot immediately [/i]
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Mrs Fiddlesticks
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| Nanny wrote: | dear dunlop
i utterly refuse to apologise to you for throwing you out of the bedroom this afternoon
if you insist on chucking your cat munchies all over the bed, you must expect me to be a tad upset.....
don't even try to look at me with that "it wasn't me" look on your face, i saw you do it |
Dear Dunlop
A gentleman cat always goes outside to throw up
Yours Sincerely
Buttons Fiddlesticks
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Ginkotree
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Dear Majic, why do you always want cuddles when I am spinning and threaten to get your whiskers caught in the wool if I dont stop and stroke and fuss and admire you. You stay hidden all day but always show up when I need to spin...and I say need becuase I use it to unwind... even though I am winding..if you get what I mean.. 
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Anders
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sometimes I have to pinch myself 
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Ginkotree
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why
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sean
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'Cos he likes doing it?
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Ginkotree
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Oh!of course,silly me.
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Fee
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Dear cats,
Sorry for leaving you alone for the week, I just know you're going to be annoyed with us right now, and one of you at least will not speak to us for at least 2 days.
I sincerely hope you are NOT throwing a party for your friends in our absence, and haven't decided to 'eat in' too much!
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ksia
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Dear Zuzu,
will zzzzzzzzasasazzzzzzz you please nhnhnhnhjhjhjhnhjhj stop chasing ................. the curser and ;lplllppllpplp;..... standing all awsawswnn,[[]' over the 999990900009 keyboard when I'm trying to ty
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Chez
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Dear Betty
Whilst I appreciate that you don't always want to come in or go out when I am around to facilitate that, I would appreciate it if you didn't actually bite me so severely that my hand swells up and starts dripping yellow pus when I try to pick you up to put you out.
In addition, please don't use the sofa as a toilet on a dirty protest about same. The cat litter is in the same place as usual.
Yours etc.
Your loving carer.
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cherrybanana
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Dear Floss & Jess,
I quite understand that at 16 you're bound to get the odd 'OMG where am I?' moment.
But could we try to restrict these to daylight hours and not start yowling at 3am like you did today?
Thanking you in anticipation (but not expectation) of your kind co-operation....
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BahamaMama
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Dear Dandy
please don't eat my new chicks, they are not bite-size snacks. Your food bowl is in the usual place and full.
Yours etc....
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Helen M
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dear harry,
although i love your cuddles could you refrain fron pushing your noxious bot in my face while dribbling in my lap to show appreciation.
your loving carer
Helen
dear buffy.
could you not make mousey bone crunchy noises at 3am from under my bed. i have fed you and always provide those cheese and onion crisps you so love.
your loving carer
Helen
dear holt,
i know you belong to no man but could you not use the museum as your own personal litter tray, and please don't steal anymore little childrens lunches leaving me to explain what has happened.
your friend
the food lady
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Green Rosie
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Dear Henry
I am so sorry that you are currently banned from upstairs but as every flea treatment used upon your fine feline fur seems to fail miserably I need to keep at least the upstairs flea-free (well at least 'til the last of our visiting friends go home  )
Your ever faithful provider of cheap cat meat but very expensive teeth-care treatment biscuits
Rosie x
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sally_in_wales
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Dear Hagl,
I'm sorry that you find Gareth so terrifying, we don't know why this is, he's never been mean to you and often cooks you your own portion of whatever we're having for dinner.
I do wish you'd stop trying to pee on everything though, I'd really really like it if you stopped stealing the plague rats as fast as I make them
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cherrybanana
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| Green Rosie wrote: | | very expensive teeth-care treatment biscuits |
they are, aren't they, especially when the big fella swallows them whole. Rather missing the point, so to speak
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Slim
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Dear Kitty,
Your mousing efforts are greatly appreciated;
Your placement in the downstairs closet, is not.
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wellington womble
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Dear little bug thingies,
Please stop crawling into my laptop screen and dying. I don't know how you get in, and there is no way to let you out. If you must, please try to die on the edges and not in the middle, it looks like there are additional commas and accents all over the place. I do appreciate that this is clearly more of a problem for you than me, there for it appears in everyone's interests to desist forthwith.
yours etc
Wellington Womble
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