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Midland Spinner

Fb Etiquette

I had a friend request on Facebook yesterday.

I vaguely recognised the person as a customer and accepted a bit dubiously.

She wrote a message thanking me, complimenting something I make and then asked for details of how to replicate what I do.

???????

How rude.

So, my question is, how soon can I discretely lose her from my friends without causing offence to a customer?
mousjoos

Isn't there some sort of setting that is exclusive to "close friends"? I think you can decide who sees what with each individual post
mochyn

Frankly I'd send her a post saying how rude she has been. Explain that it's your living! Depending on her reply (if any) you may then wish to unfriend her.
Rob R

I find it very difficult as just about every time I advertise sheepskins or hides I get at least one enquiry asking how they can get theirs done - I usually offer to do it for them, but noone has ever taken me up on it yet. I only tend to friend customers I think of as actual friends on fb - everyone else is free to use my public page.
vegplot

Send them a link to your order page on your web site.
Went

Demonstrates how important it is to have a personal account and a separate page for business where they can only like and follow and not become friends.
Barefoot Andrew

Send them a link to your order page on your web site.


Indeed!
A.
Nick

Demonstrates how important it is to have a personal account and a separate page for business where they can only like and follow and not become friends.


This is the answer. Customers and friends don't overlap naturally. There are some who are both, of course, and friends would understand there's a commercial nature to your relationship.

It's probably not deliberately rude, tbh, rather curious, or thoughtless. If I bought a skin from Rob, I'd certainly ask how it was done. And probably in detail, enough to copy it, but because I'm that kind of person, wanting to know the process, not to copy it and do it, or sell it.

I'd be tempted to explain politely, with a smile, that if I told you that, I'd be out of business in no time. Unless she fancied paying to come on a course?

And, to answer your question, just ignore her once this has played out. If it doesn't run it's course, quickly, risk offending her.
Hairyloon

Unless she fancied paying to come on a course?
If you do courses, then this is the obvious solution.
Midland Spinner

Demonstrates how important it is to have a personal account and a separate page for business where they can only like and follow and not become friends.

This is the answer. Customers and friends don't overlap naturally. There are some who are both, of course, and friends would understand there's a commercial nature to your relationship.

It's probably not deliberately rude, tbh, rather curious, or thoughtless. If I bought a skin from Rob, I'd certainly ask how it was done. And probably in detail, enough to copy it, but because I'm that kind of person, wanting to know the process, not to copy it and do it, or sell it.

I'd be tempted to explain politely, with a smile, that if I told you that, I'd be out of business in no time. Unless she fancied paying to come on a course?

And, to answer your question, just ignore her once this has played out. If it doesn't run it's course, quickly, risk offending her.

I have to disagree on several counts Smile
There is a lot of overlap between customers, fellow traders & friends in our business. We sell to people who become friends, we sell to friends who become customers, we get friends / customers / fellow re-enactors to do our plumbing, we sell stuff to other traders, we get invites to social gatherings with customers ... you get the picture.

She wanted to know precise techniques because she's doing a demonstration at an event in a few weeks time and wanted to know how I make my candles behave. She did buy some candles from me at the last market, but I suspect only so she could study them in detail.

If I were to tell her my secret, she'd then tell everyone else! I sent a polite message which told her precisely nothing.

I don't do courses in candle making, but I do do spinning & knitting lessons, but people still want the information for free.

I've checked her fb page - she has 1327 'friends' so I doubt she'll notice if I quietly delete her in a day or two. I've already marked her as an acquaintance not a friend. And changed the 'about' statement on my personal Fb page to say that my goal for 2013 is to ensure that I know all my Fb friends in real life.
Mithril

At very best it is thoughtless.

I think, if I responded at all, it would be in a jokey way - "That would telling, lol" sort of thing.
Lorrainelovesplants

Have just had a similar annoying thing but on the phone.
Guy phones up asking to speak to John.
"He's at work in the shed"
Can I have a quick word about a mower?
"No, he is working on someone's lawnmower"
"A wheel on my mower is broken, Could he get me one?
"You'll need to phone back with the make, model, year and any other details you can get off the mower Why dont you get that info and google it - this is what we will do and charge you for the time spent"
But im only asking him to have a look.
"Yes, and time costs money - why dont you do it, if you want to save time AND money"
Can I bring it up to him?
"Yes, and it'll sit in a queue and we'll tell you that a minimum to 'look at' machines is 15, and thereafter the clock is ticking."

Despite my best efforts, he's going to bring it over. Rolling Eyes
Nick

Demonstrates how important it is to have a personal account and a separate page for business where they can only like and follow and not become friends.

This is the answer. Customers and friends don't overlap naturally. There are some who are both, of course, and friends would understand there's a commercial nature to your relationship.

It's probably not deliberately rude, tbh, rather curious, or thoughtless. If I bought a skin from Rob, I'd certainly ask how it was done. And probably in detail, enough to copy it, but because I'm that kind of person, wanting to know the process, not to copy it and do it, or sell it.

I'd be tempted to explain politely, with a smile, that if I told you that, I'd be out of business in no time. Unless she fancied paying to come on a course?

And, to answer your question, just ignore her once this has played out. If it doesn't run it's course, quickly, risk offending her.

I have to disagree on several counts Smile
There is a lot of overlap between customers, fellow traders & friends in our business. We sell to people who become friends, we sell to friends who become customers, we get friends / customers / fellow re-enactors to do our plumbing, we sell stuff to other traders, we get invites to social gatherings with customers ... you get the picture.

She wanted to know precise techniques because she's doing a demonstration at an event in a few weeks time and wanted to know how I make my candles behave. She did buy some candles from me at the last market, but I suspect only so she could study them in detail.

If I were to tell her my secret, she'd then tell everyone else! I sent a polite message which told her precisely nothing.

I don't do courses in candle making, but I do do spinning & knitting lessons, but people still want the information for free.

I've checked her fb page - she has 1327 'friends' so I doubt she'll notice if I quietly delete her in a day or two. I've already marked her as an acquaintance not a friend. And changed the 'about' statement on my personal Fb page to say that my goal for 2013 is to ensure that I know all my Fb friends in real life.

So, in what way is she a friend?

You've done the right thing, apart from worrying about her. Tell her nothing, delete her.
Barefoot Andrew

delete her.

Ooh, you've gorn all Cyberman-esque.
A.
mark

Its not rude to ask..

But if you tell or not is up to you..

If you value your business always reply graciously to a customer. "Thank you - I'm very flattered you recognize the quality of my work - but I do like to keep a few secrets to ensure my products are unique!"

Sometimes it can pay to let customers in on some of your secrets - micro-brewers do this - the more they share the process - the more the customer sees them as a craftsman and the more they value their product above factory produced ales!

But sometimes it can also help to have a "secret ingredient" - if you go this way then every one who wants to know it is your publicist and your friend - but you don't tell them it.

Welcome this person as your facebook friend, encourage them to like your products. Tel them as much as you want to but no more.
Midland Spinner

Its not rude to ask..

But if you tell or not is up to you..

If you value your business always reply graciously to a customer. "Thank you - I'm very flattered you recognize the quality of my work - but I do like to keep a few secrets to ensure my products are unique!"

Sometimes it can pay to let customers in on some of your secrets - micro-brewers do this - the more they share the process - the more the customer sees them as a craftsman and the more they value their product above factory produced ales!

But sometimes it can also help to have a "secret ingredient" - if you go this way then every one who wants to know it is your publicist and your friend - but you don't tell them it.

Welcome this person as your facebook friend, encourage them to like your products. Tel them as much as you want to but no more.

That's exactly what I did - I thanked her for her compliment & told her that as I don't do candle making as a costumed demonstration I couldn't assist with C14th techniques.

It may not be rude to ask per se, but I think it is a bit rude to 'friend' someone specifically to ask for trade secrets. It would have been more polite to message me & ask the question, then politely request to be a 'friend' after.
nats

I find it very difficult as just about every time I advertise sheepskins or hides I get at least one enquiry asking how they can get theirs done - I usually offer to do it for them, but noone has ever taken me up on it yet. I only tend to friend customers I think of as actual friends on fb - everyone else is free to use my public page.

Awww.... chuffed of Swindon
Went

Demonstrates how important it is to have a personal account and a separate page for business where they can only like and follow and not become friends.

This is the answer. Customers and friends don't overlap naturally. There are some who are both, of course, and friends would understand there's a commercial nature to your relationship.

It's probably not deliberately rude, tbh, rather curious, or thoughtless. If I bought a skin from Rob, I'd certainly ask how it was done. And probably in detail, enough to copy it, but because I'm that kind of person, wanting to know the process, not to copy it and do it, or sell it.

I'd be tempted to explain politely, with a smile, that if I told you that, I'd be out of business in no time. Unless she fancied paying to come on a course?

And, to answer your question, just ignore her once this has played out. If it doesn't run it's course, quickly, risk offending her.

I have to disagree on several counts Smile
There is a lot of overlap between customers, fellow traders & friends in our business. We sell to people who become friends, we sell to friends who become customers, we get friends / customers / fellow re-enactors to do our plumbing, we sell stuff to other traders, we get invites to social gatherings with customers ... you get the picture.

She wanted to know precise techniques because she's doing a demonstration at an event in a few weeks time and wanted to know how I make my candles behave. She did buy some candles from me at the last market, but I suspect only so she could study them in detail.

If I were to tell her my secret, she'd then tell everyone else! I sent a polite message which told her precisely nothing.

I don't do courses in candle making, but I do do spinning & knitting lessons, but people still want the information for free.

I've checked her fb page - she has 1327 'friends' so I doubt she'll notice if I quietly delete her in a day or two. I've already marked her as an acquaintance not a friend. And changed the 'about' statement on my personal Fb page to say that my goal for 2013 is to ensure that I know all my Fb friends in real life.

Whatever works for you but from experience it is more effective to have a dedicated business page.
Midland Spinner

Whatever works for you but from experience it is more effective to have a dedicated business page.

I Do, that's why I was cross, because she should have contacted me via that, not through my personal page. And we have a website.
Chez

If you stick people on your 'restricted' list, they can only see posts that you make 'public'. It's quite a good way to tactfully keep people at a distance. Alternatively, you can just delete people en-masse, which is much more satisfying, IMO Smile.

I've got a business page for myself and one for the market; and then a personal one. I'm quite rigorous about the crossover; I'm quite open on my personal page and I have my defaults set so that my posts go to a group designated 'close friends' unless I say otherwise.

I agree, when you run a small business, the crossover between 'friends' and 'customers' is a big grey area.
Midland Spinner

What restricted list Chez - do you mean mark them as acquaintances?

Or is there another (easier?) way?
Barefoot Andrew

The best plan is obviously to have absolutely no friends Laughing
A.
Chez

In the same way that you mark them as 'aquaintences' - if you click on the 'add to another list' and scroll down, it will be near the bottom. It's an automatic one that they have already set up for you, I think - at least, I have no memory of doing it myself! Nell Merionwen

Is there a way to just get close friends to show in the news feed? I get an awful lot of carp from aquaintainces. I am going through and unticking "show in feed" but it is taking an age :/ Midland Spinner

Thanks Chez
Done that.
Chez

Is there a way to just get close friends to show in the news feed? I get an awful lot of carp from aquaintainces. I am going through and unticking "show in feed" but it is taking an age :/

You can just click on the 'close friends' list on the left and that will show your close friends newsfeed rather than the generic one.

(I only know all this because of Mother In Law-gate a few months ago; it's not that I spend all my time on fb, honest!)
Nell Merionwen

Is there a way to just get close friends to show in the news feed? I get an awful lot of carp from aquaintainces. I am going through and unticking "show in feed" but it is taking an age :/

You can just click on the 'close friends' list on the left and that will show your close friends newsfeed rather than the generic one.

(I only know all this because of Mother In Law-gate a few months ago; it's not that I spend all my time on fb, honest!) thank you fb guru x
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