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Bugs

Welcome A Lamprey

Welcome aboard Wink

Awfully sorry if we got off on the wrong foot. Oops, is that a tactless thing to say?
A. Lamprey

Thankyou for the welcome. Unfortunately I shall probably have little to add in areas such as land management, grow your own or cookery but I look forwards to chipping in where appropriate.
jema

welcome, could you please correct your email address in your profile as it has bounced.
A. Lamprey

Corrected.
nettie

Hello there Very Happy
Guest

Welcome A. Lamprey. It's nice not to be be the only fish around here. But I must mention that we Haddocks are very allergic to blood sucking parasites!........oops!...did that just slip out Embarassed
Haddock

I have absolutely no idea who sent the last post Laughing
Obviously some fishwit who forgot to login (again)
Treacodactyl

Haddock wrote:
I have absolutely no idea who sent the last post Laughing
Obviously some fishwit who forgot to login (again)


I thought there was something fishy about that post. Nice to see we've smoked you out again. Wink
tahir

Haddock wrote:
I must mention that we Haddocks are very allergic to blood sucking parasites!........oops!...did that just slip out Embarassed


Another lampreyphobic Rolling Eyes
A. Lamprey

We face a constant struggle against prejudice. Sad
Jonnyboy

A. Lamprey wrote:
We face a constant struggle against prejudice. Sad


Get over it, you don't see eels coming on here having a bitch do you?
Behemoth

I'm hungry.
judith

Are lampreys rich in Omega 3 fatty acids? (Just asking, no particular reason).
Behemoth

Lamprey Brewet

1 Good Sized Lamprey
140g (5oz) Butter
3 fl White Wine
1 tbsp Mixed Sweet Herbs, chopped
tsp Ground Ginger
tsp Cloves
Salt and Pepper

Soak the lamprey for about 4 hours in salted water.
Drain and wash well.
Cook in boiling salted water for 15 minutes
Drain, allow to cool.
Skin and cut into chunks about 3.5 cm (2 inches) thick.
Melt the butter in a heavy frying pan adding the spices and seasoning
Fry the lamprey for about 5 minutes on each side
Add the wine and herbs to the pan and bring to the boil, scraping the base of the pan to release the juices.
Adjust the seasoning.
Serve the lamprey (or eel) with the sauce accompanied by hot white bread.


It's not my intention to be offensive to lampreys but when you're classed as food in such a cruel society it must become a daily hazard.
A. Lamprey

Jonnyboy wrote:
A. Lamprey wrote:
We face a constant struggle against prejudice. Sad


Get over it, you don't see eels coming on here having a bitch do you?


Eels are notoriously illiterate and technophobic.
A. Lamprey

This is harrassment. Shocked How would you like it if I posted recipes for Behemoth stew.
Bugs

Are you a good size, Mr Lamprey?
A. Lamprey

I have been told that I'm a fine figure of a fish. Cool
tahir

Bugs wrote:
Are you a good size, Mr Lamprey?


Are you questioning his manhood?
Bugs

Plenty to go round then? Very Happy
Bugs

Embarassed

That was in reply to the Lamprey, not Tahir's remark Shocked
Behemoth

A. Lamprey wrote:
This is harrassment. Shocked How would you like it if I posted recipes for Behemoth stew.


I've been protected on the grounds that I've got hair and cute cuddly toys for children can be modelled on me creating hypocritical emotions that conclude it's wrong to eat me.

You on the other hand need to get a good PR manager, the squirrels have a good one. Laughing
A. Lamprey

Behemoth wrote:
A. Lamprey wrote:
This is harrassment. Shocked How would you like it if I posted recipes for Behemoth stew.


I've been protected on the grounds that I've got hair and cute cuddly toys for children can be modelled on me creating hypocritical emotions that conclude it's wrong to eat me.

You on the other hand need to get a good PR manager, the squirrels have a good one. Laughing


Exactly, you never hear of Barbar the Lamprey do you? I'm off to email Max Clifford.
Bugs

I feel a Downsizer campaign coming on...knit your own cuddly lamprey Laughing
Behemoth

Wouldn't it look like a sock?
Jonnyboy

No, just an ugly eel, now eels they have charisma, buckets of it.

You could go on extreme makeover, come back as a grass snake, everyone would love you then.
Bugs

I've not seen a grass snake, but if they're half as gorgeous and wise looking as slowworms I'm sure I'd like them.

Now, you see, you can make bacteria and other nasties cuddly ...I'm sure we could do the same for the lamprey....
A. Lamprey

Bugs wrote:
I've not seen a grass snake, but if they're half as gorgeous and wise looking as slowworms I'm sure I'd like them.

Now, you see, you can make bacteria and other nasties cuddly ...I'm sure we could do the same for the lamprey....


I like it. Obviously you could use a sucker to attach the cuddly lamprey near (or to) the lucky child.
Behemoth

Do you think it could be a playground craze with kids running round with toy lampreys suckered to their heads, arms etc?

"Look at mine, it's got a real rasping effect"
"Cool"
A. Lamprey

We could be saving an entire species here (or three to be accurate). People would probably hang us in their car windows too. Has anyone got any ideas for slogans?
Bugs

Get a grip - love a lamprey?
sean

Give a sucker an even break.
Jonnyboy

Lets stick together

A face like this needs love too.
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